Anger is an all-consuming emotion at times, even more so now as we deal with new situations. If you don’t get a grip on it, it can affect your quality of life. Anger will damage your relationships and raise your stress levels. If anger is beginning to impact your life, start taking steps to control your emotional state.
A healthy relationship requires work and nurturing. The rewards for your efforts make it all worthwhile. You should always be striving to be a better partner and improve your relationship. Sometimes though, “life” seems to get in the way, and it’s not easy. A good practice is to take the time to review the habits of successful partnerships. You can then decide if marriage counseling or pre-marital counseling is a healthy step in your relationship.
In a healthy relationship, you can be completely honest with your partner. That means even if it’s uncomfortable. Walking on eggshells around your partner is a sign of a toxic relationship. If your partner is doing something that bothers you, open up and explain your emotions. Be wary of a relationship where you have to hold back your emotions and keep thoughts to yourself. If you feel that would hurt your partner, it’s time to ask yourself why. You should never have to censor yourself for your partner.
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Look at your relationship and who “works on it” the most. At times one or the other partner might seem to do more work, which happens in our busy world. Look at your relationship and the balance of responsibility. Are you in a partnership where one person usually does more work than the other? Ask yourself if it’s balanced and healthy. Neither partner should allow the balance to be one-sided. This applies to both physical or emotional labor. A healthy partnership occurs when neither partner feels overwhelmed. No one should carry the burden of the whole mental load of the household or relationship. A sign your relationship is on the right track is when you share the responsibilities. And that includes chores, cooking, cleaning, and running errands!
Partners should not lose track of themselves because of being in a relationship. When you are in a healthy relationship, you are able to continue with your own hobbies and interests. Having friendships that you engage in without your partner will lead to a more balanced life. You should avoid being completely dependent on your partner. If you or your partner are afraid to attend an event without the other, ask yourself why,. Is it time to garner more independence? The time you spend on hobbies, interests and with good friends should not be a threat to your partner.
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In an argument, you or your partner should never insult each other. Yelling and insults are unacceptable behavior in a healthy relationship. You and your partner should always strive to communicate about your feelings. Be respectful, even if you disagree. A healthy partnership means each one will confirm emotions expressed. After that, explain a different perspective and the reason(s). If you make your partner feel bad to justify a point of view, ask yourself why. Walk away from any relationship where you feel attacked every time you have an argument.
If you believe your relationship is lacking in any of the above listed habits, talk to your partner. Think about what it’s worth to you both and decide how to create a plan to improve your relationship. Don’t allow your relationship to become toxic or unhealthy. If you have children, stop and think about how it impacts them.
We all want to have healthy relationships in our lives. Your marriage/partner relationship should be one of the most stable and safe ones in your world.
Ask your partner if they are receptive to working on themselves and the relationship. If you both want to improve your marriage/partnership, consider seeking help. Look for a professional counselor, who will give you both the respect and support to move forward. Couples counseling can bring partners back in focus, with a renewed sense of commitment
Pathways Counseling Services therapists are professionals trained in marriage and family therapy. Your concerns and feelings will be treated with respect and listened to. We offer couples and individual counseling, based on your needs.
Our staff is available evenings and Saturdays to work with your busy schedules. Our goal is to bring your relationship to the healthy standard you desire. We encourage you to schedule an appointment online, contact us or call our office at 480-235-1682 with any questions.